Is It The Wrong Choice?

If you’re an average human, ya know living the good ol’ human experience, you’ve probably dealt with the feeling of regret for a time or two– or a thousand. Assuming you have, think about how many of those regrets are because you didn’t do something because you were afraid of it being wrong, thought it would be a mistake, etc., etc.? Already at 24, my list is at least a couple of pages long, and up until a few months ago was growing rapidly.

A close friend of mine told me a while ago, “There is no such thing as wrong choices, there are just choices that’ll lead you down a certain path.” Since hearing that, it’s just stuck, and it’s acted as a little voice in the back of my head when I worry myself about whether or not I’m about to fuck up by choosing one thing over the other. 

Now, sure, there are such things as bad choices. Don’t read that and be like “I’m going to choose to moon some old ladies in the Target parking lot because Brielle’s friend said there’s no such thing as wrong choices.” I’m not here to tell you what to do, but let’s maybe not make decisions that’ll land us with records, okay?

All that to say, when you find yourself at a crossroads with needing to make a choice don’t get caught up in the “what if this is the wrong decision?” As a chronic what-if-er, I know how naturally fear and paranoia can sink in and put you at a halt. You’re left paralyzed by the thought of messing it all up, fearing you’ll regret what you’ve decided. How do you change that? You reframe those negative what-ifs into positive ones.

If you fear accepting that job because you think you’ll suck or you won’t like it, try imagining the opposite: finding that you love it and it winds up being a position that catapults your career. If you fear expressing your feelings towards someone because you think they’ll turn you down, think about what could happen if you did and they wound up feeling the same way. If you’re afraid of moving to a new place because you worry you could be leaving behind something great, picture how your life could end up being all that you ever imagined, maybe even more. It’s all a matter of leaning into the curiosity rather than fear. Sound familiar?

If you always imagine the worst outcome, I’m sorry babes, but you’re going to get the worst outcome. A good load of the time it’s a matter of what you attract. You get what you put in, ya know? 

Now, for the sake of what I know you’re thinking, let’s entertain the idea that what you fear does come true. You make a choice and shit hits the fan. Well, let me just ask you, what about that is a bad thing? I can’t be the only person to tell you that life is a series of failures. And you have to quadruple your rate of failure in order to find yourself a master or knower of anything. This, in turn, means, you have to put yourself out there and take a shit ton of risks, in order to fail or succeed at anything. So what if something doesn’t work out? It’s a lesson learned. An opportunity for you to walk away from a situation knowing more than you did before.

I don’t care what others say, I believe it is never too late to turn back or to change your course of direction. If you realize that something wasn’t meant for you, whether it’s immediately or way down the line, you always have the power to pivot in any direction that feels like the next best thing for you. The only chance you have at regretting something is if you silence the voice that is telling you it’s time for a change, or it’s time to move on. 

Sure, I’m not going to lie and say that shit doesn’t sting. Failing is a fucking bitch, but ya know what’s an even bigger bitch? Being 80 years old and having a boatload of regret because you were worried you’d make the wrong choice and you chose to play it safe than just be honest with yourself and honor how you felt in the moment. Yes, there are plenty of other ways to develop regrets. We’re human and we are bound to carry our own baggage full of them but don’t let your worry about being wrong be the reason you keep adding to the list. 

Just shoot your shot. Say what you mean, mean what you say, leave when you need to leave, start anew when you feel ready, make that idea a reality, and let the rest fall as it may. I promise you there is no way you can lose if you do.